


Haunted by Second Chances

by gaypanic



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/F, Happy Ending, swan queen is endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-06-21 20:17:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15565620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaypanic/pseuds/gaypanic
Summary: It was a pattern, the way Regina continued to lose Emma. But maybe it was even more of a pattern the way she always seemed to find her again.Always, she reminded herself, dodging the worry building in her chest.God, she sounded like the Charmings.(She tried not to read too much into that parallel.)





	Haunted by Second Chances

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rexinasofia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rexinasofia/gifts).
  * Inspired by [haunted by second chances [Protostar Art]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15812352) by [rexinasofia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rexinasofia/pseuds/rexinasofia). 



> first and foremost, a major thank you to sweets for the amazing art that inspired this story! it was so fun collaborating with you on this, and this fic would absolutely not exist without you! everyone needs to go see the art if you haven't already and shower sweets with compliments ASAP
> 
> thank you also to laura and kayla for helping me beta this, to jan for cheering me on, to danny and ang for your validation, and to the sqsn mods for making all of this possible.

The first time Regina lost Emma, she hated her.

 

Or, well, she  _ thought _ she hated her.

 

She was  _ sure _ she hated her.

 

She’d hated her the moment she saw her and every moment after. The fact that she was suddenly doubting each one of those previous moments was likely just a fluke.

 

The only thing Regina knew for sure was that she lost Emma, and that it was her fault.

 

Most everything up to this point had been simple. It wasn’t necessarily great, but it all made sense. Emma Swan was the savior doomed to break Regina’s curse. She was the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. She was the birth mother of her son. She was a thorn in her side, and Regina was sure that the feeling was mutual.

 

But then Emma defended her.

 

Maybe Regina had misheard it. Maybe when Emma said  _ she’s not dying _ , she had actually said  _ she’s not lying? - _ no _. She’s not crying? _ -no.  _ She’s not…. _

 

The former Evil Queen shook her head and dismissed it. She reminded herself that the feeling was mutual.

 

But then--

 

But then Emma started up her magic when she couldn’t do it herself.

 

But then Emma pushed her out of the way, saving her from the wraith.

 

But then Emma fell into a portal and disappeared.

 

And then Regina…

 

Well, Regina didn’t know what to do.

 

Henry kept telling her that if she really had changed, she would bring his  _ real mom _ back, and Regina would feel that anger brimming up inside her, threatening to spill over. She wanted to snap about how Emma wasn’t the one who raised him. How just because she was the Evil Queen once didn’t mean she couldn’t be a loving person-- hadn’t been a loving person.

 

Each time, she held it back. She smiled at her son. She told him that she would make it right, that she would find Emma if it was the last thing she did. 

 

Her heart glowed when he smiled back at her, fierce and loyal, if only for a moment. Like he really believed her, and it reminded her so much of Emma Swan, she had to look away.

 

“Have you found anything yet?” Henry asked her the next morning, and Regina shook her head. “Neither has David,” her son grumbled into his hot chocolate. “You think we’ll save her though, right?”

 

“I know we will,” Regina reassured him.

 

But the only thing Regina knew for sure was that the shirt she--  _ Henry _ had leant to Emma still smelled vaguely of the woman, and she wore it a few times and refused to analyze the fact that it comforted her. It was ridiculous, honestly. It was  _ her _ shirt after all. 

 

Trying to get Emma back was a stressful process. It involved one too many sleeping curses, but eventually, everything came together.

 

Except that Cora was a threat.

 

Regina was ready to let her mother come up that well and simply  _ fry _ at the hands of magic (how appropriate, really, for magic to be her mother’s demise), but Henry had other plans. 

 

Her son so  _ strongly  _ believed that Emma and Mary Margaret were going to be the ones to come up through that portal, that they needed to do something so that  _ his mom _ would live.

 

Maybe his wording could have been better, but Regina believed in her son. She wanted to do right by her son.

 

But also--

 

She couldn’t deny that the thought of losing Emma forever made her uneasy.

 

So she walked right up to that well, held her hands out, and then--

 

Pain was the last thing she remembered until she turned to see Emma Swan, back in the correct realm, her son in Emma’s arms, both of them smiling as they made their way to her.

 

Honestly, she was a little embarrassed about the whole thing. She hesitated before meeting Emma’s gaze.

 

But what if--

 

_ What if-- _

 

What if she and Emma could be civil? What if they didn’t hate each other? 

 

How hard would it be to look up at this woman she was convinced she hated and just  _ smile _ .

 

So she did.

 

“Welcome back,” she said.

 

Emma smiled back.

 

It wasn’t hard at all.

 

What  _ was _ hard, was everything that followed.

 

They had a going away party, and Emma went out of her way to invite Regina. She should have known that simply walking in would send everyone into a total panic, but of course, Emma had defended her without hesitation. Again.

 

Regina tried to stay and enjoy the celebration, but no one wanted to talk to her, which left her with a lot of free time to sit by herself, left to her thoughts. Her mind wandered as she gazed at Emma in a sweater that Regina would absolutely  _ not _ describe as adorable, and ultimately all she could think was--

 

_ I almost lost you _ .

 

The thought struck her deep.

 

She felt it in her blood the same way she felt her magic when Emma’s hand had gripped her arm.

 

She felt it in her chest the same way she felt Emma’s smile when she said  _ welcome back _ .

 

_ I almost lost you _ .

 

(But you didn’t _. _ )

 

A part of her wanted to stand up right now, make her way to Emma, pull her aside and say  _ anything _ . Tell her that she was happy she wasn’t lost forever. Tell her that she was glad she made it back safe. Tell her she was pleased with the fact that the two of them were  _ civil. _

 

_ I almost lost you,  _

 

she thought again, but this time--

 

_ How could you lose someone you don’t have? _

 

_ Someone you’ve never had? _

 

_ Someone you never will have? _

 

She shook her head, as if to rid herself of the thoughts. 

 

But as she left, the words seemed to follow her out.

 

And they weren’t the only thing.

 

She didn’t even know what Emma was saying, but she heard her voice chasing her out the door, and she turned in time to see the woman jogging down the front steps of Granny’s, nearly breathless as she looked at her.

 

_ I almost lost you _ , Regina thought again.

 

She couldn’t help but wonder if Emma chasing her out was the opportunity to say what she wanted to say. If this was some kind of sign that she should speak up. If this was her second chance.

 

_ Is this my second chance? _

 

(no _. _ )

 

_ I almost lost you. _

 

(you never had her.)

 

_ I’m haunted by all the space that I will live without you. _

 

.

.

.

.

.

 

The second time Regina lost Emma, she had to send her away.

 

She hadn’t realized that Henry wasn’t the only one she was losing.

 

It went like this:

 

She lost Henry in Neverland, but Emma lost him too. It took Regina a long time for her to admit that, but eventually, she did, and once she had, it was hard for her to even call Henry  _ my son  _ to Emma anymore. Even when she did, deep down, she knew she should have said  _ our son _ , and of course, Emma’s reminders didn’t hurt.

 

Neverland was like some kind of impossible place that dredged up the past and made it too hard to see anything else. Everything right in front of them was hidden, the future seemed hopeless, and everything seemed to look worse at every turn.

 

There was a stupid pirate that Regina couldn’t help but tell off, even if it made her look completely jealous. She didn’t care. He was annoying. Facts were facts.

 

They managed in the end though, and Regina had to try really hard not to think about how she moved the moon with Emma Swan.

 

She failed.

 

She thought about it a lot.

 

But they got Henry back, and when the worst was over, it wasn’t.

 

Regina was sure that there  _ couldn’t be _ anything worse than losing Henry, but as it turned out,  having Rumplestiltskin's father-turned-teenager possessing your son’s body and casting a curse on the whole town certainly qualified as worse.

 

(When it can’t get any worse, it rains.)

 

And rain it did.

 

She had to give up the thing she loved most.

 

Little did she know, that wouldn’t just mean Henry.

 

It wasn’t exactly  _ obvious _ , the way she had to let Emma go. At the time, really, she’d just been crushed under the weight of having to send her son off, trying to stay strong for him, even though this felt like the kind of goodbye that was forever.

 

When she had the idea to give them new memories, she’d just been thinking of Henry. Emma just happened to be a part of it.

 

But when she was talking to Emma at the town line one-on-one, presenting the gift of happy memories to  _ her _ specifically, she wondered if this had more to do with Emma than she’d originally thought.

 

It was  _ my gift to you _ . It was Emma’s hands in hers. 

 

And when she cried, she brushed it off as something Henry-related as he came to their side.

 

But when she noticed that Emma cried too, she knew something wasn’t what she’d thought.

 

Sure, Emma was losing people too. She’d have to say goodbye to her parents. But she wasn’t looking at them, she was looking at  _ her _ . She wasn’t looking at the father of their child, she was looking at  _ her _ . 

 

Regina tried to smile at Emma, but it just reminded her of another time.

 

A time of-- 

 

_ I thought I lost you _ .

 

A time that has now become-- 

 

_ I  _ am _ losing you. _

 

She watched the car drive away over the town line as they were enveloped by a thick cloud of purple smoke, and Regina realized then that she wasn’t just missing Henry. 

 

She was missing Emma too.

 

_ I’m haunted by all the space that I will live without you. _

 

It was worse than the last time. 

 

For one, Henry was gone too.

 

Second, they no longer had indoor plumbing.

 

And third, she didn’t have anything of Emma’s to comfort her.

 

Oh, except for her  _ mother _ which was honestly more stressful than anything.

 

(Maybe that was number four.)

 

Needless to say, when they all somehow ended up in Storybrooke after what was deduced as months later, everyone was shocked, except for Regina, who was more focussed on finding her family. 

 

The pirate found them first, and Regina had absolutely no idea that it had happened until she found herself catching her son’s gaze across Granny’s after she never thought she’d see him again. 

 

Only his eyes were empty.

 

But Emma’s were not.

 

Emma’s were bright and full and  _ sorry _ , and Regina could only shake her head, awed by the woman she thought she’d never see again as the words floated back to her.

 

_ I almost lost you _ .

 

(but you didn’t.)

 

(not this time.)

 

.

.

.

.

.

 

The third time Regina lost Emma, she should have been the one to go.

 

Darkness was on the loose in Storybrooke, and when it suddenly swirled down from the sky, Regina wasn’t  _ that _ surprised when it chose her. When it wrapped around her body and tugged her away from the group, fighting to take out her light.

 

What she  _ was  _ surprised about was the way Emma ran toward her, tears in her eyes, talking about Regina’s happiness like it meant more to her than her own life.

 

Maybe it did.

 

(Could it?)

 

_ There has to be another way. _

 

_ There isn’t. _

 

(She was sure it could.)

 

Emma had never said as much, but it seemed like the truth by the way she threw herself at the darkness, letting it transfer to her from Regina. It seemed like it by the way she didn’t fight it, by the way her eyes met Regina’s, and by the way she didn’t look like a woman who regretted her decision.

 

Then she disappeared.

 

She was lost. To Storybrooke. To this realm. To  _ Regina _ .

 

Of course, Regina was determined to get her back. Emma was her  _ friend. _ She was the  _ savior.  _ She  _ sacrificed herself _ for Regina. 

 

But it was more than that.

 

(Wasn’t it?)

 

_ You’ve worked too hard to have your happiness destroyed. _

 

(She was sure it was.)

 

It was the way Regina felt all too aware of the space around her and the way it felt differently when Emma wasn’t occupying it. There had been other times Emma hadn’t been around, simply down the street, or in those moments where she was lost before now, but somehow the weight of this one was heavier than them all.

 

Regina missed Emma more this time. She could feel it in her chest with every passing second, and unlike the former moments when she could adjust to life without Emma while they went to save her, she couldn’t rationalize it as possible this time.

 

Especially not when they had no idea where she was.

 

Especially not when she had been whisked away by literal darkness _. _

 

Especially not when Regina should have been the one taken.

 

It took some time, Zelena’s reluctant help and Regina exposing her soft side as she absentmindedly stroked Emma’s baby blanket in front of the woman’s mother, but eventually they found Emma. She had someone else’s heart in her hands, but they got there in time to stop Emma from crushing it, and Regina was relieved.

 

She made it her mission to keep Emma as far away from the darkness as she could.

 

_ You’re better than this _ .

 

She’d done it once. She was sure she could do it again.

 

Emma had given Regina her dagger and said  _ I saved you. Now save me _ , and it just made  _ sense _ the way she was putting her trust in Regina like that. It felt  _ right _ .

 

But then-- 

 

_ You’re the only one who will get past their feelings and do what is necessary… _

 

_ Destroy me. _

 

She would do anything Emma asked of her, but she hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

 

Losing Emma was one thing. 

 

Taking her out of the world was another.

 

Even though Emma was the Dark One, it was admittedly easy to forget with the way she acted like Emma, more or less. There were a handful of few moments that seemed off, but Regina was there for them all, fighting to keep the good in Emma.

 

But the more time that passed, the less Emma seemed like herself, and Regina couldn’t help but think it was like she was losing her all over again.

 

She would deny Regina, she would turn away, she would say she was fine when she wasn’t, and before Regina knew it, she was back in Storybrooke, face to face with an Emma that was so completely unlike  _ her  _ Emma.

 

 _Her_ _Emma._

 

Regina would scowl at herself for thinking it if it weren’t so true.

 

_ This _ Emma, Dark One Emma, looked the part  _ and _ acted the part now that they were back in Storybrooke. The Emma she had been trying to save in Camelot was gone.

 

The thought that frequented Regina’s mind the most was that  _ it should have been her _ .

 

She remembered Emma disappearing into the darkness of the sky, surrounded by the darkness’s grip, and she remembered the way the world felt empty. 

 

She felt that same emptiness looking into  _ this _ Emma’s eyes, and her heart ached for another chance. If she could go back and keep the darkness from tainting Emma, she would do it.

 

She imagined all the missed opportunities and blamed herself for each one.

 

She tried to think of a solution, but everything continued to feel hopeless, and of course,  _ this _ Emma was always there to nail that feeling down, affirming that she wasn’t really  _ Emma _ , but the Dark One, that she was no exception to the darkness.

 

But then something changed.

 

Her intentions had been good, and somewhere along the way, she misstepped. 

 

_ Maybe a few times _ , Regina thought, proving the Emma she’d always known was still in there.

 

_ I almost lost you. _

 

(But you didn’t.)

 

Really, she was irritated beyond belief at Emma’s utter stupidity, but if anything, the annoyance made it easy to cover up how happy she was that Emma was sitting next to her.

 

Her joy was short lived.

 

Now that Emma was the savior again rather than the threat, her plan to save everyone was to sacrifice herself.

 

Again.

 

(Really, it was the kind of trend Regina didn’t want to get behind.)

 

But Emma was stubborn, and Regina didn’t have the heart to tell her  _ no _ .

 

It was  _ destroy me _ all over again. It was a price Emma asked to pay and a decision Regina had to respect.

 

Imagine her relief when the pirate was killed instead.

 

_ I almost lost you _ .

 

(But you didn’t.)

 

She held her tongue again.

 

She didn’t tell Emma how happy she was that she was alive.

 

She didn’t hug her even though she wanted to. 

 

_ I’m haunted by all the space I will live without you _ .

 

She didn’t want to lose her again.

 

(Even if she couldn’t admit it outloud).

.

.

.

.

.

The fourth time Regina lost Emma, she wished her back.

 

_ I wish to be in the same place as Emma Swan _ .

 

To her surprise, it worked.

 

But like any wish, it only got her so far.

 

She was in another realm, and without knowing where she was, just knowing that Emma was definitely in it put her at ease. It was enough to keep the smile on her face and the glowing Emma-inspired optimism in her chest, even when she found that statue the Charmings got for  _ defeating her _ (whatever that meant) and even when the dwarves all ran away from her, yelling about the return of the Evil Queen.

 

If she was worried at any point, it didn’t last long because she heard Emma only moments later.

 

_ Singing _ . 

 

She was singing the melody of  _ someday my prince will come _ , and Regina was torn between thinking it was the most amusing thing she had ever heard or the most endearing.

 

Maybe both.

 

Either way, she approached Emma, her heart just soaring at the sight of the woman who hadn’t even been missing a day.

 

_ I almost lost you _ .

 

She almost said it this time, the words on the tip of her tongue, but when Emma’s eyes widened, when she backed away in fear, when Emma called her  _ the Evil Queen _ , Regina stopped herself. 

 

Emma didn’t remember her.

 

It was ridiculous honestly, but it was easier to laugh than to admit that maybe she  _ did _ lose Emma again.

 

But she would get her back.

 

So she told Emma the truth. 

 

_ I’m your friend. _

 

_ Where we’re from, we actually share custody of a son. _

 

_ You’re the savior. _

 

_ Your family needs you. _

 

_ (I need you.) _

 

She’d said it before, under the guise of a  _ but maybe _ , and she almost said it again when Emma looked at her with what she thought was recognition, but of course, that was the moment everything went downhill.

 

The Charmings showed up, and they didn’t remember her either. Regina had to disappear and come up with a new strategy. 

 

Alone. 

 

Unless you were to count Rumplestiltskin. 

 

(Regina didn’t).

 

Regardless, she took his advice and became the Evil Queen again, at least for show.

 

Interrupting Henry’s coronation wasn’t  _ great _ , she had to admit, but it was completely worth it to put on a show for Emma.

 

It would have been even more worth it if it would have worked.

 

She held the same confidence in Emma that she had when the woman became the Dark One, only this time it grew sturdier in the places where Emma revealed fragility as opposed to the last time, her confidence wavering in Emma’s dark wake.

 

She paced around the room she’d once known so well, but in this realm, her castle was in ruins. She could have cleaned it up with a wave of her hand if she’d wanted to, but she was too busy thinking about winning Emma back to be bothered.

 

And then she couldn’t take her mind off the idea of  _ winning Emma _ .

 

David interrupted her thoughts, with a generic statement of how they’re going to win because  _ good always wins _ , and Regina didn’t want to tell them  _ again _ not only that she already knew that, but it was the whole reason she was even here.

 

Instead she just rolled her eyes while she thought of ways to wake Emma up if triggering the savior in her didn’t work.

 

For a moment she actually thought kissing her could work, before she remembered that it would only work if they shared true love.

 

(It was a risk she was willing to take.)

 

Besides, Emma’s parents were  _ right there _ watching her nearly drool on herself.

 

She wiped her face and scowled at them for good measure.

 

It wasn’t much longer before Emma arrived, looking beautiful as ever in her princess gown, something Regina begrudgingly decided she would miss but the blonde’s new meek composure wasn’t.

 

She taunted her a little, and then taunted her more when this Emma wouldn’t so much as make eye contact with her.

 

A former thought returned--

 

_ her Emma _

 

\--and she groaned. She yelled. She verbally expressed her frustrations with an Emma that wasn’t  _ hers _ in all the ways she couldn’t with Dark One Emma.

 

(Short of  _ I am not losing you again.) _

 

(Short of  _ I need you. _ )

 

(Short of  _ I’m haunted by all the space that I will live without you _ .)

 

(Short of… a lot of things.)

 

Regina didn’t get to kiss Emma in front of her parents, who now lay lifeless on the chaise, but she did manage to almost get herself killed, though fortunately saved by Emma from their son. Or,  _ kind of _ their son.

 

Princess Emma had been crying, so Emma’s face was still tear streaked, but even when she wiped the tears away, Regina could swear she saw a few new ones forming as Regina led her to their place of departure.

 

_ I almost lost you, _

 

(But you didn’t.)

 

On the way there, everything felt normal again, in all the ways it  _ could _ anyway. She made fun of Emma for singing, and Emma glared at her, amused but stubbornly trying (and failing) not to let it show. Their glances to each other were like some kind of chase, Regina looking at Emma just as green eyes wandered away, her looking back the minute Regina decided to look somewhere else, and it felt like they were on the verge of  _ something  _ this time.

 

Regina was sure it would only take a few words to send them over the edge.

 

_ I thought I lost you. _

 

_ (I’m so glad I didn’t.) _

 

_ I’m haunted by all the space that I will live without you. _

 

_ (I’d like to call it a second chance.) _

 

But instead, Regina bites her tongue and takes Emma’s hand.

 

_ “Let’s go home.” _

 

.

.

.

.

.

The last time Regina lost Emma, she forgot her.

 

It was every bit as ominous as it sounded; but Regina didn’t know that until later, and neither did Roni for that matter.

 

At first, she knew she was losing Emma. 

 

That  _ fucking pirate _ was still around, much to Regina’s irritation.

 

If she could erase that entire trip to the underworld, delete it from existence, she would. Just so that  _ he _ wouldn’t still be here. 

 

She was sure that Emma would approve of the call, even if it meant losing her boyfriend or whatever the fuck she called him these days.

 

Regina didn’t care.

 

What she  _ did _ care about, however, was that she was following him into this mystery portal, leaving Regina and  _ their  _ son behind.

 

But then she forgot.

 

She became Roni, and all the pains that she’d had from before were erased from her memory, and she was surrounded by enough alcohol to keep her demons at bay, not that she even  _ knew _ what half of those demons were.

 

The point was was that whatever happened to her here was its own brand of terrible.

 

There was a lot of loss in Roni’s life as well, but her coping methods were vastly different. 

 

Roni was numb to the loss. 

 

She didn’t have thoughts like  _ I almost lost you _ because she never had any chance for there to be  _ almosts _ . Her losses were more permanent, more tangible. She suffered, but not like Regina had.

 

Something always changed though.

 

This time it was a flood of memories filling her mind, a lot having to do with the Enchanted Forest, or Storybrooke, or her father or the Charmings, but the most memories that came back were about Henry and Emma.

 

_ Her family. _

 

She sobbed.

 

Not only because her son didn’t remember her again.

 

Not only because she still had him right there, so close yet not close enough.

 

Not only because she’d had so much when she thought she had nothing.

 

But because so much of it was lost.

 

Because Emma was lost.

 

_ I almost lost you _ became--

 

_ I lost you. _

 

When Ivy--  _ Drizella _ left, Regina’s sobs echoed through the empty bar. She felt empty, and she clutched her chest when she imagined Emma making fun of her for owning a bar or for wearing jeans and graphic tees made of cotton but never getting to see it.

 

The rest of the curse was torture as well, having Henry but not having Henry, having to fake every smile and pretend like everything was fine when it was anything but.

 

The empty spaces in her life seemed to take a new form.

 

Roni hadn’t really  _ cared _ that there were holes. She would fill them up with liquor until they drained, and then she would do it again the next day, but Regina found no consolation for the empty spaces.

 

She’d always thought that every time she lost Emma, she was haunted by the spaces that Emma was supposed to occupy, but it was like she never really understood what that was like until now, even when she thought she had.

 

Of all the times she lost Emma, this one hurt the most.

 

She would never lose her again though. That much was certain.

 

After all, you couldn’t lose someone you would never see again.

 

But she did.

.

.

.

.

.

 

The last time Regina lost Emma, she found her again.

 

It wasn’t exactly  _ finding her _ , not by the Charming’s definition anyway, but by her own. She invited Emma to her coronation. She considered it close enough.

 

So much had happened that it felt like years later, but it wasn’t that much later, not really, and Regina was elected Queen of the United Realms, which sounded insane, but when she looked at the crowd that had gathered through the crack in the door, she believed it a little more.

 

Both Henrys were there to walk her through the crowd, down the aisle, and she smiled at Snow and David waiting for her at the other end.

 

The ceremony began, but it didn’t feel right.

 

Regina didn’t need to look to know that Emma wasn’t out there.

 

But she looked anyway.

 

She couldn’t hide the disappointment in her voice when she looked back to Snow and asked her, “Is  _ everyone _ here?”

 

Even if she could have been less obvious, it wouldn’t have made a difference. Snow knew exactly who she was talking about, and she likely knew exactly how she felt about it as well, if her apologetic smile meant anything as she gave the explanation.

 

It wasn’t enough for Regina.

 

But she smiled anyway.

 

Or she tried.

 

But when those doors burst open, to reveal Emma, when she walked down the aisle with her red leather jacket and her  _ sorry I’m late _ , and Regina beamed at her, she was positive that whatever expression she was wearing prior to this wasn’t even passable for a smile.

 

“Emma,” she said, hardly recognizing the softness of her voice and not caring who else could detect it.

 

Emma was here. Nothing else mattered.

 

“You didn’t think I was going to miss this, did you?”

 

Regina could only smile in response, and for the rest of the ceremony, she was almost too distracted to focus. 

 

Her joy was through the roof, between her redemption arc, her validation from all the realms, her coronation led by her former nemesis, her two Henrys smiling up at her, her sister cheering her on, and Emma Swan.

 

Emma Swan who still called her Madame Mayor.

 

Emma Swan who glared at the pirate when he corrected her on her title and said, “What do you know? You’re just a babysitter.”

 

Emma Swan who pulled Regina into the kind of lingering hug Regina had always dreamt of sharing.

 

Emma Swan who hesitantly spoke of Regina’s happy ending, wanting to make sure she still got it, but didn’t know if she had.

 

Emma Swan who she lost too many times, but found every time thereafter.

 

Emma Swan who Regina didn’t plan on losing again.

 

“I hate endings,” Regina admitted, revelling in the way Emma’s eyes brightened with a look that said  _ I made you a promise I intend to keep _ and  _ you’ve worked too hard to have your happiness destroyed. _

 

“A happy beginning then,” Emma said, her wording almost intentional as she fished for the one thing Regina was prepared to give.

 

Regina’s eyes reflected Emma’s and more. She thought of  _ but maybe I need you _ and was prepared for it to be  _ I always need you _ . She thought of  _ I almost lost you _ and was prepared for it to be  _ I will always find--  _ no--  _ I will always hold onto you. _

 

She thought of  _ I am haunted by all the space that I will live without you _ , ready for it to become Emma Swan filling up her life with bright moments and making up for all the empty spaces over the course of all this time _.  _

 

She smiled as the words left her lips--

 

“I’d like to call it a second chance.”

 

And Emma smiled back at her.

 

The look in her eyes seemed answer enough, but Regina wanted  _ more _ than just that look. 

 

Their whole relationship had always been built on nothing but looks and small gestures here and there, and Regina was tired of all the words left unsaid. She was tired of the space in her life not occupied by Emma, and she’d be damned if she let her go for even just a second.

 

“Your second chance, or…?” Emma asked, fishing again for another answer.

 

“I suppose,” Regina starts, and Emma’s smile falters ever so slightly, “But…” Emma’s eyes light up again. “What would you say to this being  _ our  _ second chance?”

 

Emma is breathless. “You mean…”

 

“I mean,” Regina confirms. 

 

The subtext becomes text, and Emma beams as she takes Regina’s hand to pull her closer. The brunette responds by taking her other hand and closing most of the space between them.

 

Now that the ceremony is over, the people filling the coronation hall have turned to engage with each other, and Regina takes advantage of the fact that not all eyes are on her anymore.

 

Just Emma’s.

 

When one of them leans in, the other does too. It’s impossible to tell who initiated the kiss, but Regina’s breath catches in her throat just before it happens, and she holds Emma’s gaze for as long as she can.

 

When they’re only an inch apart, their eyes drop to each other’s lips, and this time, Emma’s breath is the one to catch.

 

When their lips touch, Emma releases a sound, small and nearly inaudible, but big enough to indicate years of pent up longing, satisfaction at the contact, and desperation for more. 

 

Regina’s hands move to Emma’s waist to press their bodies together just as the blonde’s lips part. They’re impossibly soft against hers, and Regina doesn’t want to pull away. But she knows she has to when she tastes Emma’s tongue on hers.

 

It’s the kind of kiss that makes her dizzy.

 

Emma’s eyes are glazed over when they pull back, and Regina imagines hers look the same. 

 

The blonde grins at her, that same beautiful dopey smile from the night they first met, and Regina feels herself falling all over again.

 

“Hi,” Emma says.

 

Regina’s response is simply a laugh, watery and joyful, and it makes Emma blush.

 

“What?”

 

“I’m just…’ she starts, but a smile interrupts her. “I’m just happy we made it here. I didn’t think we ever would.” Her face falls as she remembers seven years of  _ almosts _ , all these spaces where Emma should have been but never was. “I almost lost you,” she finally says in a whisper.

 

Emma’s expression softens as she raises a hand to rest against Regina’s cheek. “But you didn’t.”

 

“But I didn’t,” Regina echoes with a smile.

 

_ I’d like to call it a second chance. _

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Writers and artists spent months creating the fics and art you enjoy - it would mean the world to them if you commented to tell them what you liked! The SQSupernova team is also sponsoring a contest for commenters, and you can find out more [here](http://sqsupernova.tumblr.com/post/177527168129/the-swan-queen-supernova-comments-contest-returns).


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